Turning 38

Hello all! Yes, the day has come for me to turn 38. Ah, life.

I’ll cut to the chase work-wise: I’m still not doing any work. So if that’s why you’re here, I’m sorry. My ability to hone my focus and produce things has continued to struggle.

In terms of CHATTING though, I can do some chit chatting.

What has Robbie been up to? I’ve hit the public pool a few times. On some trips I’ve worn a two piece, while on others I’ve just gone for a shorts + swim shirt combo. It’s a very non-judgemental pool so really the choice is about how comfortable I’m feeling with which presentation. I’ve had fun at the pool so far this summer. I don’t think I’ve ever gone there and been the only trans person, which is nice.

Reclaiming my fitness continues to be a major narrative of 2026. I am now 21.4 pounds down on the year, having gone from a 7-day average weight of 233.3 to start the year to one of 211.9 today. I’ll spare you the graph this week since it’s not a graph whose shape is changing much. If you’re on a weight loss journey out there, stay with it. I feel so much better right now than I did at the start of the year. You can do it!

Eliminating as much processed food as possible from your diet isn’t just a positive for your health. With how pervasive junk food is and how powerful snack companies are, it’s a legitimately important political act to stop buying processed bull shit. My diet has never been better in my entire life. Join me in eating whole foods. You can do it!

I’m working out three times a week at the local fitness cult GYM (Get Yourself Moving). I genuinely love it. I’m getting to know a lot of the other cult members. Energy comes from energy! That’s what the cult leader, Chris, always says. I’m not sure what I means but I enthusiastically repeat it when prompted because that’s how you be a good cult follower and get extra cult privileges.

Speaking of Chris, she made me a birthday cake. It was an incredibly kind thing to do. She makes healthier-for-you desserts and other foods and soon intends to start selling them out of the storefront adjacent to GYM. I’ll come back and update this post at some point with a photo of the cake. This is how you run a cult people. Chris is very attentive and supportive. She remembers small details. She’s just a kind person, which is what we need.

Wait - here’s a cake picture. Look at this thing!

Almond flour cake with pistachios. I haven’t had it yet but yum! I also know the frosting is Greek yogurt based. Love that.

I am also loving all the time I’ve been spending with my dog Podo. Me and the kid have been walking all over town. He’s determined to meet every local employee he can in the hopes that they have treats behind the counter. Many do. We’re just outside walking for 2-3 hours a day. And a related thing about GYM, since it’s in my neighborhood, a lot of my cult-mates are also in the hood. I’m starting to regularly run into people I know on these walks, which I love. Seeing Podo’s slack jaw, happy tail and medium-level panting at the end of our walks fills my heart with joy.

So between the pool, the cult, the extensive neighborhood walking, the vibe has been very active, local, offline, here and now. While I haven’t been able to put much time against the main projects we generally discuss here, I have been very happy and fulfilled lately.

Now here’s one thing about my projects I did want to share with y’all. I think that for the second half of this year I’m going to flip my own mental work priority and live with speedrunning as #1 and game dev as #2 for the rest of the year. I’m very much in a rut overall with my projects, so I think shaking things up is a good idea. The halfway point of the year also just passed, and I’ve lived day to day with game dev #1 and speedrunning #2 up until now.

Speaking of speedrunning, look at this cute birthday card one of my Twitch friends made me

I’ve got friends!

But back to speedrunning and game dev, I’m hopeful that if I prioritize speedrunning that I’ll actually work on it, as opposed to right now where I’m ‘prioritizing’ game dev, but in reality I’m stuck in a rut of inaction. It’s like, since I never get past this rut of inaction with game dev, then by default I can do no speedrunning, since that’s how my mental model is working with this whole prioritization concept. Maybe working on speedrunning will get me on a roll and it will result in me doing more game dev anyway. We can dream right? I’m trying guys.

Mindfulness and focus are the things I need to put my energy towards to work on these speedrunning and game dev projects, much like most other projects any of you might be working on. I would probably recommend to myself that I start meditating in the morning. As much as I strongly believe in the power of meditation I am not practicing it right now. I do practice mindfulness and breath work in my moment-to-moment life, but I need to shorten the gaps between the moments where I regain mindfulness in order to get back into work mode. I spend too long zoning out and listening to music, watching YouTube documentaries, chilling on Twitch, watching sports…like all fine things, but I need to be a lot more intentional with how I am spending my time.

Much like this long weight loss and fitness journey that it feels like I’m finally starting to get on top of, building my own mindfulness and focus back up is going to have its own life. I need to start small. I need to weed out these things I distract myself with and vibe to and put them to the side to mindfully and intentionally consume later. I need to endure the anxiety and stress that comes with working on projects that you have come to identify yourself with, rather than escaping to distraction. It’s a pretty simple road, but it will always require me to be really on my game to walk it.

To all my amazing readers, go forth and live your best life this week. You can do it. Energy comes from energy!