The Diva, Low%

Hello everyone! It’s great to you have back here in McLepke-land. Thank you so much for joining me. We are here to chit chat about the week that was, so let’s get into it.

Felix democracy

Last week I mentioned that I had started learning Felix Low%, a secondary speedrun category of competition for the game Felix the Cat. While preparing to perform the run live, I couldn’t help but notice that the rules didn’t lend themselves to the most aesthetically pleasing of speedruns. I saw some potential for improvement, and started a campaign to get the rules changed.

This campaign was successful! Here are what the rules of Felix the Cat Low% have looked like up until my petition (top), compared to what they look like today (below):

As fate would have it, the changed rule is now the primary obstacle I need to solve before live-streaming Felix Low%. I am happy with that, though. Part of my argument for changing the rule was that the new rule adds a new layer of skill. Rather than mindlessly floating through level 8-1, you now need to play and survive the level without dying in order to be fast. Now that the fastest strategy is to beat the level without dying, the fastest way to implement that strategy entails ending the level with only one heart of ‘health’ remaining, since each heart counts down as your points are tallied up. This is a tightrope - reaching 0 hearts means you die. Ending with 2 hearts loses a little bit of time.

This, in turn, means that you will ideally have carefully planned health pickups during the level. But, health pickups are based on how many Felix heads you collect, and the number of heads persists from level to level. In any%, the number of heads you collect are carefully planned throughout the run. In Low%, you don’t need to have as careful an eye on the number of Felix heads you have. Every 10 heads grants you a power-up, but you cannot pick up the power-up anyway, so compared to any%, it matters a lot less when these power-ups appear. The moment where it matters the most however, is now in Level 8-1.

I am pretty close to being able to stream Felix Low%. I believe that by the time we check in next week, I will have gone live at least once. Not to sound overconfident, but we’re going to get the world record in Felix Low%. The category is not very optimized, and the skill level I am at from playing any% is already high enough to get the record today if I wanted to. Of course, my goal is to do the best I personally can (without driving myself nuts), regardless of what the leaderboards say. As such, I am here to push myself to dot the i’s and cross the t’s. Let’s see where we stand next week!

TLDR: Felix Democracy

A trip to the Diva

Longtime readers of the blog may remember that 90% of all of my clothing comes from one thrift store near my house called Diva on Fleek. The store is owned by The Diva - a stylish woman of color who runs the business (including an online component), does alterations, travels out of state on buying trips, has like six or seven kids, and is a complete and all around badass. She has become a friend of sorts over theses past 4-5 years of being in the neighborhood. I say ‘of sorts’ because it’s kind of like the friendship you have with your therapist. Yes, we’re friends, but I also pay her hundreds of dollars for a service. But like…we ARE friends. You know?

Anyway, at this point, when I go to the store, I don’t even look through the racks. The Diva knows my style and what things I am likely to buy, and picks out a selection for me to try on. The Diva makes me feel like a valued customer and friend, and from the perspective of her business, it absolutely works.

One offshoot of this sort of fashion-based relationship is The Diva has been with me through my turbulent weight changes of the 2020s. Beyond being with me, I would say she has also been a part of my weight-gain support network. Recent readers of this blog know that in the wake of me quitting pot and becoming totally sober, I have gained a lot of weight. Since quitting pot, I have gained around 45 pounds. It’s not trivial, and most of my old clothes from The Diva unfortunately no longer fit. Lately if you see me on the streets, I tend to be wearing exercise shorts and a tie dye t shirt.

I think that somewhere deep down we all know we need clothes that fit, and that personal stylistic representation is important. However, it is a different matter to actually go into a store and buy larger clothes that you like. There’s a variety of reasons for this. For one, you’re holding onto a motivation that you’re in the process of losing weight right now. So, why bother buying larger clothes? Isn’t it wasteful? There’s some part of you that sees buying bigger clothes as a failure, or as a sign of giving up.

Clothes shopping is also just less fun if you’re dissatisfied with your own body. If your self-esteem is low, the prospect of buying clothes doesn’t sound exciting. Unfortunately, these thought patterns have a way of perpetuating the situation you’re in. If you only wear clothes you don’t really like, your self-esteem then drops even lower. You snack on junk food to console yourself. The problem worsens. Rinse and repeat.

This is kind of where I have been lately. I know I need to just go get some new clothes that I will feel good in, but I am endlessly putting it off. Finally, one day last week, I had a stroke of good fortune just after finishing a 5k. Even though I have gained a bunch of weight, I do still exercise all the time. It is one of my most reliable mood-boosters.

Oh, also - one practice I have had for a while now - I will drink some sort of zero sugar soda after exercising. It’s like a reward for exercising, and a way to keep me from drinking soda all the time. Anyway, on this particular day I knew I was out of soda at home, so I brought 10 bucks with me on my run (kept inside a small ziplock bag in my pocket for sweat protection).

Immediately after my run, I went into a convenience store that is near the end of my running route to grab a bunch of sugar free soda for the next few exercise days, and lo and behold, I ran into The Diva. Immediately, I felt a twinge of shame. I haven’t seen The Diva in a while. We both knew this. It was starting to be more like “I am avoiding The Diva” rather than “I haven’t seen The Diva in a while”. Even though I do view The Diva as a trusted person to discuss my weight and body journey with, I just haven’t been in the mood to face it in that way recently.

I heard her say to one of her daughters, “nope, they don’t have zero-sugar ginger ale here. We have to go somewhere else.” Immediately I thought back to being allowed into the back-office of the store, where The Diva had clothes that hadn’t been sorted and put on the racks yet. This was one of the perks of being a regular customer - you got to check out the new merchandise before other people. In contrast to the clean and presentable front of the store, I remember noting that every possible surface of this back office had an empty can of zero sugar ginger ale on it. I couldn’t help but chuckle; it was a flashback to the positivity The Diva and her store used to bring to my life.

In a post-5k endorphin-fueled spurt of energy, I told The Diva that I would be coming to her store later that day. See, the positive version of Robbie that exists right after running a 5k is smart. She knows things. She knew she could lay a trap that future, sad-sack Robbie wearing old undershirts wouldn’t be able to evade. By telling The Diva that I would be coming by later today, there was no way out. Silently avoiding you is one thing, but deliberately going against my own word is another.

Literally one hour later, after just getting home, drinking a soda and showering, I was already cursing post 5k Robbie for her guile. I contemplated texting The Diva to let her know that I wasn’t actually going to come by the store, but as 5k Robbie predicted, I felt too stupid doing this. So, I reluctantly laced up my shoes and went to see The Diva.

We talked about why I hadn’t been to the store in so long. She admitted that she was wondering if I didn’t like her anymore. We talked about my recent weight struggles. We talked about my trans struggles. She understood. She also swore I was going to walk out of the store with a few great new outfits. It was a therapy session and a stylist appointment rolled into one.

I feel much better now. I got some great new outfits for my current size. The Diva offered me some free tailoring on things I needed to be altered. Of course, I feel like I should have returned to The Diva much, much sooner. But, I did it. I bought some clothes. I accepted where I am at today, and am choosing to try and be happier.

small game dev update

I made it a goal last week to show up with something to say about game development this week, since it’s been falling by the wayside lately. I am happy to report that I did work on the game, though I don’t think I have anything that I necessarily want to show here.

I worked on building out enemy attacks. When I last updated, I had built the game’s first enemy, and it was able to make a projectile land on top of the player’s head, though the projectile did not do anything. I am now in the process of programming a ‘damage taken’ state for the player, where you bounce backward a few pixels, and get a period of invulnerability. It was small; I did around 2 hours of work last week. Even if it’s small, my goal is to have another update for you next week.

That’s all for me this week. Thank you for joining! It’s always great to see you, and as always I hope you have a fantastic week. I still have full faith in your ability to do this week. Farewell.